Behind the files, beneath the air conditioner and beside the water cooler lurk the real news stories of the Public Service and PS News editor Frank Cassidy has had his nose in the air, back to the wall, shoulder to the wheel and ear to the ground to dig them out.
   So, fresh from his physiotherapist here’s what he’s found out:

PS-sssst...

De-consulting
Public Servants know how it feels to be between a rock and a hard place.
   Are they not consultative enough, or do they spend too much time consulting?
   From our International file this week comes a report indicating that the UK Cabinet Secretary, Sir Jeremy Heywood thinks the latter.
   “We are trying to get the economy moving, the private sector moving and it’s frustrating that you have to go through a period of consultation before you deregulate,” Sir Jeremy lamented recently.
   Ah yes, pesky consultation. Let’s abandon the process altogether.
   What could possibly go wrong?

Even handed
Still on the international front and someone knows a backhanded compliment when they see one.
   Rwanda’s Director of Capacity Building in the country’s Ministry of Public Service and Labour has announced a new-improved “high performance” PS workforce structure, at the same returning a sledge to the backhanders.
   “When people say that we are performing well, they are comparing us to some of our neighbours,” the Director explained.
   “But that should not be the right reference,” he said diplomatically.
   Ouch!!

Driven to distraction
Back home to Queensland now where the ever-imaginative local Police Force has introduced an excellent new initiative to help save lives on the State’s roads.
   Having already identified the Four Fatal Flaws of motoring – speed, drink, fatigue and not wearing seatbelts- the police have come up with a fifth - driver ‘inattention – as a potential killer, launching a vividly coloured new police car to “help promote the message that inattention and driver distraction are potentially fatal.”
   While not even dreaming of questioning the wisdom of the police, PS-sssst….! wonders how a brightly coloured police car flashing messages about ‘inattention’ will not, itself, distract drivers from the serious business of concentrating on the road.

Fish off the hook
Sad news from the CSIRO that a research project aimed at controlling the numbers of the river-damaging carp in Australia has been sunk due to lack of funding.
   According to a report in The Canberra Times, the Murray Darling Basin Authority was paying for the project but had advised CSIRO’s scientists it could no longer “invest in any carp-control work.”
   “For that matter” one of the scientists was reported as saying” (They) are scaling back their internal fish habitat project altogether.”
   Scaling back a fish project? Beautiful!

Dethroned
And finally, among the oddest news stories of the silly season was a report from the US of the mass theft of all the toilet bowls from police headquarters in a southern city which didn’t want to be named.
   The city’s usually efficient police force has an enviable record of solving crimes but according to one senior officer, this time they were completely baffled.
   “We’ve got nothing to go on,” he said, stating the obvious!

   Until next week...


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